


When all is quiet

by strawberrysunday



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - World War II, Death, Discrimination, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Soldiers, language nerd Rick, try hard Negan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2019-01-16 16:00:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12345954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrysunday/pseuds/strawberrysunday
Summary: Negan and Rick were both sent to war and just when everything felt miserable enough they found each other right in the middle of it. The ending of a new beginning.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by history class, but it might not be so accurate.

It was the coldest winter. One so fierce unlike any otherthey had ever lived through. The fire did not help, bodies freezing. The sick everywhere, coughing in the night, constantly reminding of their borrowed time. Too young they were, to see such a horrible world. Their bright future robbed by a war they did not want. Sent off to die, mere pawns in the eyes above.

Colder. The winds whispering demands, the soldiers shall follow, blind without a doubt. No escape, bounded by invisible chains. Bearly hanging to the thread of life, their advance, a death sentence to  _all_  that stood.

Cold. Wave of storms rushing in from all sides, attacking the famished and weak, hopeless of any aid. Stale white, pale as sheets, snow covering endless fields. Fate has their humanity lost within these foreign barren lands.

It was at the end of 1944, in the midst of the second great war, a massacre claiming more than tens of thousands of innocent lives. Although it was one of the more decisive battles which lead to the victory of the allied forces as the never-ending struggle for life and death went on for too long. A clash between fists and knives, soldiers and machines. A powerplay between strong nations, one to eradicate the other, reclaiming the lands for its rightful citizens. And the other growing an empire, ruling over the bones and ashes of the fallen ones.

The battle of the bulge.

Where the story of two lovers began and ended.

"Rick? You better not be fucking sleeping or I'll kiss-"

"No, I'm not fucking sleeping, Negan." An exasperated sigh escaped him as he was woken from his light sleep. Rubbing his eyes with his freezing palm, cooling the heavy bags of exhaustion which carried the burden of months without proper sleep.

"Say it again."

But Rick ignored him. Looking through his binoculars, surveying the area and seeing nothing but fog rolling in through the usual snow covered forest of oaks, willows, and birches, reminding him of Christmas pines back home. Of the oranges and cloves, a sweet smell surrounding their home from his mother's baking of cake and sweets to the mouth-watering honey glazed ham. He missed the food, which was now hard to come by and he wondered if his mother and brother were eating enough.

'As long as they were fine, he would be alright', he kept telling himself that but for how long will he keep that lie up? He just wanted to go home, back in their arms. He missed them. Those peaceful times of sitting quietly by the fireplace and enjoying the warmth it radiated while he read his younger sibling stories about fantasies from other worlds. His mother listening and knitting socks of wool as she rocked her chair - back and forth - the sound of wood against wood complementing the crackling of the burning logs.

Before Rick could dwell any longer in his reverie, Negan once again opened his big mouth. "Come on, you know I fucking  _love_  it when you say that word."

For once Rick looked at him, really looked at him. From his quivering mouth, shaking from the cold. Teeth clashing, mimicking the menacing sound of soldiers marching. To his dry, cracking lips. Blood concealing the pale, smeared along the stretched smile from ear to ear. Then to his bright red nose, the color spreading across his cheeks like a wildfire burning the flesh, hot against a touch. And finally to his dark eyes, just as empty as his, having seen too much in the battlefields.

But there was something special about them, from time to time, such as moments like these, Rick would catch a glimpse of a tiny fiery spark in those hazel lonely eyes that kept him alive - full of life - much different from all the others and to think that it was all because of him being beside Negan, it just made him feel heavily guilty. He didn't know if he could ever admit to loving Negan in such a way, further than the safe boundaries of platonic.

He was  _just_  a dear friend.

He'd like to say, but love was a strange phenomenon. Coming and going when it pleases. Arriving at such a discriminating era where romances such as theirs were not tolerated, especially not in the invaded land, which was punishable with the capital sentence.

"You know it's a crime." Rick pointed out with a steady voice, revealing not too much. Eyes wandering back to the scene below the roof. Waving at his fellow soldiers, who were patrolling the area of the small abandoned village they have occupied.

"If't be true loving thee is a crime, I would rather kicketh the bucket than liveth the rest of mine life not loving thee." Spoken in a deep Shakespearean accent, with his r's rolling like that of a pirate's - the true way of early modern English, just like Rick had told him.

"Cut the crap, Negan." It was said but not without a growing smile. Rick liked that about Negan. Being interested in the things that he was. Even going through the trouble of memorizing sonnets for him to recite, sometimes creating his own and Rick rewards him with plenty of applaud and attention, analyzing the structure as well as the words to interpret his emotion. At times leaving Rick flattered, flustered and flushed from head to toe.

They stared into each other's eyes. Silence dragging out between them while their distance shrank with Negan's every step. So close, their breaths warming each other's skin and Rick became very conscious, looking away with a step back. Another step and his body met with the concrete rail, trapped between Negan's arms, surrounded by desire.

"I love you, Rick." The whisper filled with ache accompanied an icy cold touch against the flushed cheek to guide Rick's eyes back onto him, only to reveal the same miserable, blues everytime. Seemingly wanting to say more but merely allowing a simple knowing hum.

Negan desperately wanted to hear  _it,_ those four little words from his puffy lips, which Rick's tongue shyly moistened. They glistered like pink pearls under the waking sun. Hard to resist, a thumb traced the outline of his lips, feeling both smooth and rough from the unforgiving cold weather. No protest came, just a sharp inhale as Rick hesitantly closed his eyes with cheeks redder than ever. If he was still the Negan from back then, he would have kissed Rick in a heartbeat with no question asked, but he was different now. He saw the way Rick's hands trembled around the fabric of his jacket, how his eyebrows knit in worry. He couldn't do it. Not like this.

His hand wandered to Rick's nape earning him a shiver from his cold hand. Rick's smile grew soft when he looked Negan in the eyes. He could feel Negan's fingers tangled in his growing but still short hair as he massaged his scalp, their foreheads touching and giving each other warmth before he backed away, giving Rick space to breathe.

Rick loved Negan that is without a doubt. It was more so evident with his prolonged touches whenever he could or his stares of longing when he thought Negan wasn't looking. A game of hide and seek, a love unrequited on both sides.

If only Rick would let himself be free of all his concerns, but that was probably for the best. He shouldn't be dragging Rick to his downfall. Rick could be happier together with a woman, who could give him children, a family to love and go home to and to grow old with, without the worries of judging eyes.

If only he was born different, but then he surely wouldn't have met Rick, the only beautiful thing worth living for in such a horrible world filled with assholes.

True, he was an asshole himself but that didn't prevent Rick, a complete stranger then, from saving him while the enemy was ready to pull the trigger. People always told the tale of seeing a light at the end of one's life but there was not such a thing for Negan. He saw nothing but the tiny details of the gun that was about to kill him. Maybe that was because he wasn't religious enough, tried to prove so many times that he didn't need a God. But at that moment he was scared of dying. Scared to see nothing but darkness, to be alone for all eternity. In what he assumed would be his last seconds on earth, he prayed for forgiveness and for some kind of salvation to see that light and not his own demise. He wasn't naive enough to believe but when Rick came running to him, covered in blood from having stabbed that sucker in the neck, he knew, in that moment, that he was God sent - his guardian angel.

Since then, he stuck to Rick like glue. Keeping him company. Making him laugh. Protecting him however he could and growing to love him more than what was  _normal_. He was hesitant at first, not sure how Rick would react, so he kept quiet and acted as though everything's normal. But the aching to tell Rick got worse, at times letting things slip out of his mouth, little by little revealing his  _abnormal_  desire.

Perhaps Rick sensed the change but he never told Negan off, only laughing at his corny pickup lines and enjoying his company which Negan took full advantage of. Rick's sweetness and innocence was everything he ever wanted but not as a friend as Rick understood it. He wanted to make it clear that he wanted more than that, and a poem was just what he needed. Finally confessing what took him weeks to write only to be rejected by the logical reasoning of how harsh reality could be for them both.

He fully understood the situation he was putting Rick in by reciting it before him and he didn't intend to push further afterward, but Negan achieved something with the hard work he put in that poem. It stirred something inside of Rick, a growing heartbeat that made him realize his true feelings for Negan. But he couldn't give in, he didn't want to hurt Negan. He'd heard stories about love like theirs ending in painful death and he would rather deny his love than letting Negan die.


	2. Chapter 2

Here they sat on the rooftop with the sun rising before them, so close but feeling worlds apart despite the chilling winds sending them closer to each other. The clouds rolled in heavily into the sky, letting snow fall in chunks above their heads, wrapping nature in a soft blanket of white.

Rick smiled at that, hands stretched out to catch the icy crystals and watch as their lovely shape melt in his palm, like a kid seeing it for the first time. Negan couldn't help but laugh. "What?" Rick pouted a little embarrassed.

"Nothing." He shrugged, wiping away the snow caught in Rick's curly hair like ornaments decorating his head. A fitting crown for his lovely king, that brought out the cerulean color in his eyes. "I'm just thinking, for a grown-ass man you like snow a lot."

"What's wrong with liking snow?" He asked defensively in rhetoric, deciding to give drama to his speech as his hands smoothly danced around the air. "It's beautiful and gentle, melting everyone's heart with its tender touch. Whether young or old they'll look out the window to see them fall, bringing tears to those who witness the tragic swaying of the angels' feathers along the winds. It brings out the poet in all of us, just like the little haiku it brought out of Matsuo Basho:

' _Let's go out_  
_To see the snow view_  
_Where we slip and fall_.'"

Negan smiled at Rick's geekiness, remembering the time Rick argued how the English translation did no justice to how beautiful and tranquil it actually sounded in Japanese. It brought Rick to share a thing from his past, telling the tragic tale of a girl named Michonne, who was pretty and smart, knew all about the Japanese language from reading to writing. Rick told him about how they met outside the public library, saw how she wasn't allowed to enter the building. His love for books gave him the courage to drag her off to the side, telling her that he would borrow the books for her, making her incredibly happy. She gave him a list and based on what she wanted, he found out that they shared an interest and that was the beginning of his late afternoon sneak outs, meeting her in secret to bring her books and talk about poems and scripts, just being nerdy together. The woods became their escape, finding happiness in what little time they had and spending it with laughter while being ignorant to the approaching harm of the outside world.

She taught him plenty of things about the wonderful language of rhetoric in both Japanese and English but most importantly she showed him how to love. She was his first love, sweet and gentle, innocent with youth but just like theirs: a painfully 'forbidden' one. He wanted to run away with her, head north where the discrimination was more tolerable, where they could live together and have a family. But on the night of their escape, he was left waiting until morning. Never got to see Michonne again, never got the chance to say goodbye after he was told that she and her family moved away during the night. Of course, he knew that something dreadfully terrifying had happened to her, her house burned down leaving only ashes to remember her by. Every day he blamed himself for it, never forgetting the memory of her that left a big void within his heart.

Rick was certainly remembering her at that moment with the distant stare and silence he was giving off. It was only logical why Rick didn't want to love someone like Negan. It was obvious that Rick didn't want to experience such a thing again, but Negan was a selfish asshole who only thought for himself, he could hardly imagine what it must feel like to lose someone like that, although it did pain him to see Rick in so much sorrow, wanting to do everything to make him forget.

So he inched closer to Rick with snow in his hand, he tried to remember how that one haiku went, the one Rick recited a while back.

" _'The cold wintry wind_  
_The throbbing pains of the swelling cheek_  
_People's face.'_ "

Rick smiled upon hearing that before he was surprised by snow that was smeared on his face. The cold made him gasp, leaving him breathless as he stared at Negan who had an evil smile that told him to run but Rick just smirked, questioning Negan's decision of challenging him. He was tougher than he actually looked and soon, he too had balled up snow in his hands, ready to throw at any second Negan comes near him.

It escalated quickly, throwing snow at each other, tackling and rolling around the white and wet floor until the rooftop was free from it all, both having enjoyed the fight like children without worries. Laughing as they eventually collapsed on the ground with eyes staring at each other. Their warm sweat evaporating and cooling their bodies faster than they'd expected. Their limbs yearned for each other on impulse, dragging themselves to lie side by side, fingers red and stinging from the lack of gloves and pretty soon their digits found each other to hold, keeping them both warm to ease the burning pain of cold.

"I won." Negan declared in a whisper, watching as Rick still tried to catch his breath.

"No, you didn't. Clearly, you were the first to fall."

A chuckle left Negan but it was silent for the most part, leaving only the sound of their breaths and the winds blowing against the trees, rustling with their bold twigs or if, with what little leaves they had left. The cool air along the still falling snow made Rick tremble and Negan decided to roll over so that he's partially lying on top of Rick - his elbows supporting much of his weight. He used his body and jacket to protect Rick from the shivers the wind gave him.

"Your kindness doesn't change anything."

"You sure about that, Rick?" Negan said with a smirk, bringing Rick's hand to his lips, kissing each red knuckle as he caressed his cheek.

"You wish." The heat on his face growing hotter as Negan looked at him in his own particular way. His eyes roaming every inch of his face, mostly focusing on his lips and then back to his eyes, teasing with a sudden bob of his Adam's apple and his tongue stuck between his perfect teeth and with it tracing his lips in interest. "Fine, it's a tie." Rick finally said in defeat, having to look away.

"I think I could do better-" And thus appeared his shit-eating grin, looking smugger than ever.

"Wait." Rick hushed him. A finger pressed against Negan's lips as he concentrated on something else. Little did he notice the approaching sound of mechanical engines running in the far distance.

"What-?" Negan was cut off once again as Rick pressed harder, giving him no mind. He sighed and rolled his eyes, thinking that Rick was playing him again although he did finally shut up, granting Rick's request for silence.

"Negan, do you hear that?"

It wasn't that he heard it, it was more like he felt it. The rumbling like thunder growing louder beneath their bodies. The earth itself shaking in fear as something big was heading their way. They both pulled up, scrambling for their binoculars as they observed the heavy fogged forest. Neither could see through it but just within seconds, emerging from the fog an army of foot soldiers followed by heavy artilleries. The scene mortifying as more seeped through the forest making their way to the camp.

Shit! They weren't prepared for an attack, not here, where they thought they would be safe as the forest served them enough protection. Not so soon either, with more than half of their troops fatigued by the weeks of continuous battles they had faced elsewhere nor their depleted supplies that left pretty much everyone without energy to muster and most of all with little to no bullets to shoot.

"Oh, holy fucking shit." Was all Negan could say as pale painted both their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To smut, or not to smut, that is the question.


End file.
